Quotes From "The Color Of Magic" By Terry Pratchett

Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. Terry Pratchett

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards! Terry Pratchett

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows. Terry Pratchett

Sometime later the islanders on a little rimward atoll were amazed to find, washed into their little local lagoon, the wave-rocked corpse of a hideous sea monster, all beaks, eyes and tentacles. They were further astonished at its size, since it was rather larger than their village. But their surprise was tiny compared to the huge, stricken expression on the face of the dead monster, which appeared to be have been trampled to death. Terry Pratchett

One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation–lettuce farming, say–would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?” Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged.“ I’m good at it, ” he said. Terry Pratchett

I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.'' That's just fantasy, ' said Twoflower.'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again. Terry Pratchett

My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before. Terry Pratchett

You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree." One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from? Terry Pratchett

We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index, ' he said. 'Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects.' Precisely, ' said a passing bush. Terry Pratchett

It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself. But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple. Terry Pratchett

That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next. Terry Pratchett

Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder--which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression. Terry Pratchett

The flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side. Terry Pratchett

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists. Terry Pratchett

The gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows. Terry Pratchett

Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods. Terry Pratchett

It tells him what to say. I know it sounds ridiculous, ” muttered Hugh.“How can a book tell a man what to say? Terry Pratchett

I hope you're not proposing to enslave us, ' said Twoflower.Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. 'Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and comfortable-'' Oh, good, ' said Rincewind.'-just not very long. Terry Pratchett

You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs. Terry Pratchett

She was the Goddess Who Must Not Be Named; those who sought her never found her, yet she was known to come to the aid of those in greatest need. And, then again, sometimes she didn't. She was like that. Terry Pratchett

I kill in my own time, ” he said. “In any case, killing unconscious people isn’t right.”“ I can’t think of a more opportune time, ” said the Loremaster. Terry Pratchett

I could use you–if you pass the tests, of course. There are three of them. You have passed the first."" What are the other–" Hrun paused, his lips moved soundlessly and then he hazarded, "two? Terry Pratchett

No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk. Terry Pratchett

Falling isn’t so bad, you know. It’s only the landing that hurts. Terry Pratchett